inner peace and cosmic happiness (bis)

The 2 weeks I spent at Sivananda ashram were amazing and challenging at the same time. It was a very good complementary experience to the time at Manav Sadhna.
While giving, self less love and compassion were at the core of MS values, Sivananda ashram's approach is more focused on Bakhti (devotional) yoga and raja yoga (physical practice and meditation).

A discipline is imposed to the students to help them focus on that personal development and can be quite exhausting if you launch at full steam into it. Being me, I, of course, jumped up to intermediate class on the second day and gave the asanas (postures) and the overall program all I had. After 2 days, I was surprised to be completely exhausted and with a really stiff neck; seriously, that was only 4h of hata yoga a day! ;)

To rescue me from that stiff neck, a yoga teacher gave me a powerful shiatsu massage, that relaxed me so much that I spent 2 days like a zombie. I also received a very sweet and beautiful tarot reading by Asrael: the outcome card had "peaceful strength" in store for me - it sounds like a great goal!

The ashram life is quite full on and, after a couple of days of embracing it while trying not to judge, I took a step back to assess what, amongst all the activities and values they shared with us, was part of my journey and what was really not for me. Since I am not going for enlightenment (at least not in this life ;) ), I could kind of pick and chose what can really help me in my daily life...

Did you know you can actually learn to relax? well, I must have learned it as I find myself more relax than I have rarely been (even if things are not always going exactly as I want...).  I also certainly developed my ability to sit crosslegged: up to 5h sitting on the floor, that was a lot for me! I can now be still for 15/20 min, which is a progress on the 10 min from when I arrived in India... I also noticed that each time I had a low, I could be kind to myself and hang in there just a little bit more, and that low would just pass (so no fighting...).

The daily life is sharing a dormitory with 31 other women of all nationalities; washing your clothes by hand (which I have been doing since the start in Jan, so I was used to that); waking up at 5:20 am to meditated and chant at 6; going to bed at 10:30 pm. and yes, I sung Hare Krishna every morning noon and night!
so you let go of a lot of little comfort elements and prejudices...

 I have also now accepted that I am NOT detached from food. The food served at the ashram is satvik, which in short means that it is supposed to help you meditate - no meat of course, no eggs, but also no spices, no onions, no garlic! and only 2 meals a day. Each time I'd close my eyes, after 1 week, I'd see steaks, saucissons, oysters, etc. dance in front of me. I am ok to eat in silence and mindfully, but if the food has some taste and consistency. As soon as I left the ashram last monday, I went for a butter chicken: the most silent, mindful and tasty meal I'd had in a long time! :)

I think I could write pages more on my experience there, the great people I met etc.
The main lesson is that the journey to inner peace and cosmic happiness (thanks oli for that phrase ;) ) requires acceptance, courage and perseverance - but results can be reaped as early as the first step on it...

Love